Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
