you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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