Plan B is the new Plan A
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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