I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
