I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
