I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The air was thick with penises
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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