Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
