I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
