We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
