Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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