I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Be still, my beating vagina.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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