Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
