i just had sex bonerless
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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