I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
NoShamevember. You game?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
