So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
