i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
