is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
