I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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