Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
