I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize