I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
