Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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