My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
