i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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