she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
