His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
