so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
