walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
