the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
