You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
