I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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