just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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