yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
