It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
