my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
