The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
