dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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