Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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