Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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