The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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