even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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