drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
