would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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