i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My dick has a subreddit
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
