Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
They have beer where we have blood.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
