I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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