yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
