I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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