Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
