Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
